Friday Nights at Lime Ricky's
by Mr. Askanius Trick
Summary: A string of vignettes all taking place under the roof of everyone's favorite soda speakeasy. A smattering of pairs, for those who dig that. Primarily 86/60 & 1/362
1. Chapter 1

Fridays Nights at Lime Ricky's

Disclaimer: I do not own the show Codename: Kids Next Door, nor any of the characters therein.

A/N: So I recently looked back at my other two KND stories, and I realized something: I hate them. Honestly, I really cannot stand them. They're shallow, slow paced, and choppy at best. At worst: juvenile. And during my loathing I came to realize something: I was bad at writing them because the stories simply disinterested me. Now I enjoy reading me a good action/adventure type story, all the time actually. But I just have no interest in writing one. The plots were half cooked and really only there as an excuse to write. All I wanna do, really, is do vignettes. I want to do interesting, concise interactions without the pressure of carrying out some silly plot I really don't have a purpose for.

So I apologize for those who read and actually enjoyed Operation: WAR and Uno On the Run. While I won't be deleting them, I am discontinuing them.

And in their place, I give you this: a series of one-shots (some might be loosely connected, we'll see) all taking place under the roof of Lime Ricky's speakeasy.

This first chapter will be an introductory monologue from the man himself: Ricky. The rest of the stories will be predominantly in 3rd person omniscient. Maybe some 3rd limited if I'm feeling brave.

Chapter One: Welcome to Lime Ricky's

Hey there! Come on in, set yourself down, take a load off!

…

Your first time here, huh? That's okay; in fact, that's great! Welcome to Lime Ricky's!

I'm the kid himself, ol' Ricky in the flesh. I know, not much to look at. But hey, at least every funny lookin' kid's got a momma who love him, right?

…

Sorry, what, you had-? You HAD and momma who-? I don't get…Oh.

Ooooh, ah geez kid, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-!

…

You sure? Alright. I'm sorry kid, I'm sorry like crazy.

…

Uh, anyway, why don't I give ya the rundown of the joint, huh?

…

Most important thing is I got just about every kinda soda you could ever want, right here on tap! That's right, even Blurpleberry-Banna-Nut Cream Soda, it's all right here. If you're feelin' peckish, I've got a couple kids in the back kitchen that can whip something up. The menu's kinda limited, and it always depends on what my folks picked up at the grocery store this week. But that's half the fun, I think, always something different.

Anyhow, the cola and the grub isn't the only reason folk come here. Lots of kids come here just for the atmosphere and company. And not just me, no no, I'm no vain as to make that claim. Though I do suppose I'm a pretty okay conversationalist. Don't you think?

…

Haha, thanks kid! Anyhow, the crowd here is always up to have a good time. Especially on Fridays. Fridays, the regulars are always in without fail. Let's take a look around, shall we?

See that red-head girl over there? Yeah, the one screaming and hitting that poor boy with her hat. That's Fanny Fulbright, Celtic Chaos Causer Extraordinaire! She's got just about the nastiest temper you ever did see. But boy, she's a kick. Real live wire, that one.

And that poor guy she's wailing on, that's Patton Drilovsky. Now he's usually a mellow kinda guy, a little strict, uptight even. But that's just 'cause of his line o' work. But lemme tell ya, he can cause ruckus just about as well as Fanny does. Set of pipes like a megaphone, swear on my yet-to-be-dug grave.

Oh! And just down the bar from ya, that's Hoagie Gilligan. Hey, Hoagie!

!

…Yeah, I tend to overserve him sometimes. But hey, I do such things for friends. Careful though, one he knocks a couple back the guy can really talk your ear off.

…

What does he do? What DOESN'T that guy do. Depending on the day, he's either an inventor, a pilot, a comedian, or a PI. Sometimes all at once, and sometimes none of the above. Regular Jack of all trades.

Speaking of Jacks, there's Ace over there. Yeah, the one hovering by the table full of girls. He's our resident smooth-talker around here. Anything in, or anything that has ever worn, a skirt is his type of company. Now most times he's really pretty good, get the girls giggling and batting eyes and such all night. But every once in a while…

Yep! Right there. Splashed right in the face. Every once in a while he gets humbled. But it don't deter him. Not one bit. Heck, it just makes him hungrier. What can I say, the man loves the thrill of the chase.

Let's see, who else…Hey, there's a sight for sore eyes! The sweet lil' blonde that just came in, that Rachel. Rachel McKenzie. Now she may not look it, but that girl has the weight of the world on her shoulders. And the moon too.

…

Eeeeh, I'll explain later. Let's just say you've got a lot to thank her for and you don't even know it.

Mkay, the other blondie, the boy this time...

…

Yeah, the little guy. Haha, talk about a Napoleon complex. But I tell ya, he's got the right hook to back it up. Word to the wise, whatever you do, do NOT tick off Wallabee Beatles. He'll knock you into next week, and send you a post card with another knuckle-sandwich on express delivery once you get there. In case you didn't do the math, that's two black eyes in two to five business days, bank holidays depending.

Now once in a while you'll see a tall girl, big red hat, skin the color of rich hot cocoa. That'll be Abigail Lincoln. Coolest customer I've ever seen, lemme tell ya. If she's here, hang around. She's not quite one of the consistent ones, she's got other scenes she likes to hit up. She's a real sugar connoisseur see, so she likes to keep her palate practiced with variety. I don't take it as an insult, I get it. But it always makes for a real nice night when that chick's in town.

Once in a while she brings a friend, kooky lil' number by the name of Kuki. Kuki's not much into this kinda scene, so she doesn't show too regular. Now, another word to the wise: she's real pretty, but if Wally's around, don't even think about it. Just don't.

…

No, no, not official. Not even a little bit. Really, I doubt either of them really know it. But that doesn't stop 'em from gettin' jealous. Violently jealous.

Now let's see, that might be the shape of it. There're a few others; Lance, Bartie, Virginia, Harvey (Sweet Cherry Cola help us, though, if he shows), Lauren (THANK Sweet Cherry Cola if she shows, you've seen her on TV, you understand), Sonia, Lee, aaaand Gabe! Yeah, Gabe. You'll probably never see him, though. Always sits over in the corner.

Anyhow, that's the whole gang. Yeah, Fridays here, they're pretty happenin'. Never know who's comin' in the door. And never know what baggage they bring in with 'em.

Not gonna lie to ya, kid, they're've been some pretty nutty things happen here.

…

Oh, stuff you wouldn't believe. All sorts of drama of course, but we've had dust ups, shake downs, shoot outs, and even tooth cleanings!

…

I am certainly NOT kidding you, kid! There's this total head-case dentist in town, totally OCD about everyone's, and I mean EVERYONE'S, dental hygiene. Really kinda creepy if ya ask me. But not to worry. Sometimes those weirdos show up, but between you and me, my clientele keeps the place nice n safe. And they're happy to do it. Ya see they may not look it, but most of those kids I mentioned are all in the KND!

…

What, is there an echo in here? Yes THAT KND. International peacekeeping force, fighting for all kid kind, that's the one. But see, the reason they like this place is that here they can just be normal kids. Instead of superspies, super-soldiers, or even superheroes they can just be super-kids.

…

Okay, okay, I know, that was cheesy as all get out. But what can I say? I'm moved by it. Of all the soda joints in all the towns in all the world and they walk into mine.

Oh, one last thing. You might hear the name "Nigel" a few times while you're here. You can ask if you want to, but if I were you, I wouldn't.

…

He's…He was a friend. People'll talk if ya ask 'em, sure, but no really knows much. He was here one day, and the next he just up and vanished. I mean, we all hope for the best, that it's all kosher and his family just moved. But when a guy disappears and no one hears A THING…It doesn't really inspire optimism, ya know.

…

Thanks for understanding. They'll appreciate it.

So, that's the whole story. Now, just sit back, relax, I'll pour ya something cold and fizzy, and we'll have ourselves a grand old time.

Whaddaya say?

* * *

A/N: Well, there's that. Just a goofy intro piece. First real chapter will be up shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

Times They Are a' Changing, But Some Things Never Do

Lime Ricky's was packed and swinging like any other Friday night. Kids age 6 to 12 were enjoying a great assortment of sodas and each other's company to celebrate another school week survived. At a booth on the far side from the door sat two Friday night usuals with a reputation from causing commotion, plus two guests who were also no strangers to the bar. Patton was nursing his second root beer while Fanny was half way into her third (she always had to be at least one ahead of him, especially when he was paying). But the rabble rousers were rather quiet this particular Friday though, for they had company tonight; Abbigail Lincoln was playing with an empty can of orange pop, and Hoagie Gilligan, Jr. was sipping on a club soda (a recent preference Abby was sure had only come about so Hoagie could look more sophisticated).

"Numbuh 5 was hoping she and Numbuh 2 weren't the only ones gettin' the heeby-jeebies from the Numbuh Infinity," the jazzy twelve year old said, adjusting her hat so it remained over her eyes, "That boy's starin', it creeps Numbuh 5 out. Like he's always lookin' for something, you just never know what."

"Seriously," the portly pilot added, followed by another sip of club soda that garnered a hardly distinguishable grimace. He then added bitterly, "Every time that guy shows up it's bad news."

"Our sentiments exactly," Patton said, Fanny adding a contemptuous snort to approve his statement between her final two gulps of root beer.

She finished her drink and slammed the glass down on the table heartily before standing half way up to yell over Patton's head, "One more for the night Ricky!"

Lime Ricky sent one of his servers off with Fanny's drink and shot back playfully, "It had better be Numbuh 86, I was about to cut you off. Shouldn't keep a girl who drinks, Numbuh 60!"

"Ah stuff it Ricky!" Patton hollered back jovially, long accustomed to Ricky's silly insinuations, "If you want her, _you_ take her!"

"Nah," Ricky hollered back with a chuckle, "Last time I said something sweet to her she almost bit my hand off."

"How do you think I lost these?" Patton returned, holding up his right hand with his pinky and ring finger bent so it looked like they were cut off at the first knuckle. Fanny gave him a smack in the face with her little green beret she had taken to wearing in place of her old colander helmet (much to Patton's relief), and when she took her drink from the server she made sure that some root beer foam smeared on Patton's face. Patton chuckled as he wiped away the foam. He gave Fanny's knee a little nudge unseen under the table with his own, and she returned the nudge not unkindly, smirking smugly behind her glass.

With the moment of fun passed, it was time to return to business. "So you'll do it?"

Abby tipped her hat up to wink at them and said, "Yeah Eskimo, we got'choo. Infinity won't clean them creepy shades without you knowin' it."

Fanny smirked more at Abby's recent pick-up of one of Patton's nicknames. Abby had been using it since the foursome's last visit together to Ricky's a couple weeks ago.

"Any particular payment you'd like for this one?" Patton asked. He always paid them if favors unique to a fellow of his position. To this day, he was exceedingly surprised that Fanny did not protest his methods and report him to Rachel.

' _The Fanny of yesteryear certainly would have,'_ Patton thought to himself, _'I suppose even the Red Devil herself can change. Heck, the ME of yesteryear would've reported me. I guess even Eskimos have to adapt to the heat.'_

"Another shot at Adult Industries," Numbuh 2 said full knowing that it was an impossible request. It just felt good to say.

"Impossible soldier, and you know it," Patton said sternly, not particularly enjoying that deep of back alley dealing, "The Council of Kyd made it clear that, at the very least, the public front of Adult Industries is now just short of untouchable by the KND. And totally unapproachable by Sector V."

Patton had two theories as to why the KND's brand new judicial branch had come into existence: 1. Rachel's ever present and deepening depression that now more than just Fanny and Patton had noticed, or 2. Numbuh Infinity. Last time Patton had seen Numbuh Infinity, he had made a beeline to Numbuh 362 and stayed attached to her hip for three days. And not a full twenty-four hours after he left, the Council of Kyd (named for the location of the courthouse facility on the Moon, Kyd Crater) was born.

A heavy silence descended on the four KND veterans' table. After half a minute of uncomfortable pensiveness, Hoagie couldn't help it, "Heh. You rhymed."

Numbuh 2 received a simultaneous hat smack from both the girls at the table.

"Ow!"

The girls replaced their hats as all but Hoagie had a good laugh, much welcome following the melancholy silence.

"Thanks Numbuh 2, it's nice to not be the one receiving that once in a while," Patton said. An instant later he deftly caught Fanny's wrist as she attempted to give him another smack. A stare down followed.

"Ye have three seconds ta let go a me wrist."

He didn't.

"One."

Patton dare not even blink now. This staring contest with the Irishwoman was now a duel to the death.

"Two!"

"Three," Patton finished for her.

A rabble rousing for the ages followed.

* * *

A/N: For those who find this familiar, this little ditty is in fact directly ripped from my story Operation: WAR. This was pretty much one of the, like, three parts of that story that I actually enjoyed (most were also Fanny and Patton moments).

I think I'm drawn to this pairing because of its ambiguity. It kinda just appeared out of the air one day and stuck around. We know enough about both of these characters to use their voices, but their history and chemistry are total open canvasses.

Anyhow, this chapter is just to get things kickstarted with this story, and to ensure that I didn't start it and never do anything with it. And start the little plot bunny, too. While not the centerpiece of every chapter, it'll come up enough. We'll see how deep I go into it. Still, I hope it was a bit of fun at least.


End file.
